Am I depressed? Or tired?

This morning I woke up feeling like I wanted to punch everybody in the face. You'll be proud to know that I held back.

I did however indulge in some self-analyzing and decided there must be something seriously wrong because I was sliding into old, unhealthy patterns- negative thoughts, irritablity, lack of motivation, over-eating-  None of these were GOOD signs, that's for sure. Naturally, I started feeling like a huge failure until (thank you "Self-compassion" by Kristen Neff) I took a moment to zoom out and got curious about what the heck was actually going on here?! I probaboly didn't regress back to 20 year old me overnight for no reason.

Wait!! Could I just be tired?? Oh. Hehe (not cute though)

It is surprisingly easy, even for a mental health therapist, to become convinced we’re depressed when we’re actually just sleep-deprived. This is embarassing to admit, and in no way is diminishing the very real struggles of depression, this is just a very different animal, and it's useful and comforting to understand what we're actually dealing with.

How Sleep Deprivation Affects Mood and Motivation

We all know that sleep is crucial, but it can be surprising to realize how profoundly sleep impacts our mental well-being. When we’re sleep-deprived, our brains struggle to process emotions and make sense of basic, everyday stressors. You might feel cranky, detached, or unmotivated simply because your brain hasn’t had the time to rest and reset.

Without proper sleep:

• You’re more likely to feel overwhelmed by minor challenges.

• You’re more reactive and less resilient to stress.

• You might find it hard to focus, making it difficult to complete even simple tasks.

• You could feel more anxious or pessimistic about the future.

• You're more likely to grab familiar self-soothing tools (food, binge-watching TV, dooms-scrolling, etc.)

These symptoms can mimic depression, leading us to believe we’re in a downward spiral which can add to the stress we're already experiencing and putting us in a state of panic, when the real issue might be a lack of rest.

Depression vs. Sleep Deprivation: be Honest with Yourself

It’s important to note that depression is a serious mental health condition, and it’s different from temporary slumps caused by sleep deprivation. Here’s a quick comparison to help you understand the differences:

1. Sleep Deprivation Symptoms

   • Feeling sluggish and unmotivated, but mood improves with rest.

   • Lack of focus and irritability that improves with sleep.

   • Occasional feelings of sadness or frustration, usually related to being overly tired.

2. Depression Symptoms

   • Persistent sadness or numbness that lasts more than two weeks.

   • Loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed.

   • Feelings of hopelessness, guilt, or worthlessness.

   • Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much, unrelated to a busy schedule or previous sleep deprivation.

   • Persistent fatigue, even with adequate sleep.

If symptoms of depression resonate with you over a long period, it’s essential to reach out for extra support.

Taking Care of You: Go to Sleep and be Nice to Yourself

When we’re sleep-deprived and feeling low, our tendency is often to push ourselves harder or jump to worst-case conclusions. Instead, it’s helpful to pause, take a breath, and recognize that self-care can play a powerful role in boosting our mood AND productivity. Here’s how to start:

1. Prioritize Sleep: I know, I know, shut up already about sleep and water people, right? BUT IT'S FRICKEN IMPORTANT, so no, I wont shut up about it! Create a routine around sleep that protects the number of hours that YOUR BODY needs and protect that routine like it's a baby monkey you just adopted.

2. Listen to Your Body: these body suits are so wise ya'll. Tune into your body and ask it what it needs (yes, literally ask it) on a consistent basis, and then do your best to follow through.

3. Self-Compassion: If you’re feeling down, resist the urge to judge yourself harshly (this never helps). Showing yourself kindness and patience is the best way to have your own back, develop self-trust, and actually helps you live up to your potential in a more powerful (and pleasant) way.

4. Evaluate Your Sleep Routine First: Before you assume the worst, consider whether you’ve been getting enough rest (maybe check some other basics too like nutrition, social time, and hydration). Adjusting your sleep routine can sometimes magically solve all your problems.

Give Yourself Grace my Love

When life feels heavy, or things aren't going how we want them to, it’s tempting to assume something’s fundamentally wrong with us. But often, we just need a little (or ginormous) dose of rest and compassion. Practicing self-compassion, getting enough sleep, and caring for your basic needs are not only essential to well-being but also great steps toward finding overall joy and balance in our lives (writing this as reminder for me as well).

If the feelings persist, don’t hesitate to reach out for support, whether from friends, family, or a mental health professional. Remember, you are more than deserving of love and care.